Talking to siblings about aging parents can be tough. There’s much more to this conversation than logistics and finding your parents the care they deserve. You also need to think about how everybody feels, their perspectives, and how you’ll approach the situation with everyone’s best interests at heart.
You’ll need to employ various strategies when talking to siblings about aging parents. It helps to:
- Communicate honestly
- Prepare yourself before the discussion
- Choose the right time & place
- Set a collaborative, not combative, tone
- Create a care plan together
- Stay patient and respect boundaries
- Seek professional support
Communicate Honestly
Being open and honest with your siblings sets a solid, strong foundation. This is an important discussion—likely more than one. You’ll need to establish a discussion regarding the future of your parents.
This discussion needs to be open, honest, and respectful at all times. There are likely going to be strong emotions, so avoid pointing fingers or placing blame. Instead, frame the conversation around your shared concern.
Remember—postponing important talks can easily lead to unnecessary challenges down the road. Timing matters, so make sure you’re starting this sooner rather than later.
Prepare Yourself Before The Discussion
Before you sit down with your siblings, take time to organize your thoughts. It helps to spend some time thinking about your parents’ future needs. Gather any necessary information about medical conditions, daily struggles, finances, and whatever you can find.
To prepare properly, it helps to:
- Write down your main concerns or key points you’d like to discuss.
- Think about your feelings surrounding the topic and note how you’d like to express them.
- Be ready to answer questions and share any facts or insights you’ve discovered.
- Reflect on what role you’re willing to take in your parents’ care plan.
When you’re prepared, the conversation is more likely to stay on track. This makes it more manageable—for everyone involved.
Choose The Right Time & Place
Where and when you have these conversations makes all the difference. Aim for a comfortable setting where everyone can focus without distractions. Privacy plays an important role here!
Avoid starting conversations during holidays or large gatherings. These situations are stressful and chaotic enough. With too much going on, miscommunication becomes a significant problem.
For siblings who live far apart, try involving them virtually. Technology can work to your advantage during this conversation. Video calls are a great way to ensure everyone stays engaged and part of the discussion when distance is a problem.
Set A Collaborative, Not Combative, Tone
Make sure to approach the conversation as a team effort. When you express shared concern for your parents, it reassures your siblings that the goal is care and support, rather than control.
Using “we” statements encourages collaboration. It may take a bit of practice, but try phrasing things like, “We all want to make sure Mom and Dad are taken care of.” This establishes a cooperative tone and approach to the situation.
However, listening is just as important as speaking. Spend time listening to your siblings as they share their views, even if you don’t quite agree with what they’re saying. A balance of expression and empathy can make cooperating much easier.
Create A Care Plan Together
A family-wide care plan significantly reduces stress. This situation can be a bit of a challenge, but you all want what’s best for your parents. It helps to work together and make sure everyone can contribute and feel heard.
Creating a care plan for the future is an excellent place to start this journey. You’ll need to consider:
- Immediate needs, like medical appointments or meal prep.
- Future plans, such as financial arrangements or selecting a senior living option.
- Dividing responsibilities based on individual strengths and availability.
- Establishing a written outline of the plan to avoid future conflict.
Working together means nobody has to take on the responsibility alone. The entire process becomes much more rewarding—and less stressful—for everybody.
Stay Patient & Respect Boundaries
Not everyone processes these conversations at the same pace. Your siblings might need more time to adjust to the realities of your parents’ aging, and that’s okay. Even if you disagree, you need to be patient and respect everybody’s boundaries.
Emotions may run high during this conversation—it’s entirely natural when talking about an aging parent. Make sure that you actually consider where your siblings are coming from. They have a valuable perspective, even if it’s not similar to your own.
Keep in mind that everyone’s timeline for processing challenges can vary. Being patient allows the family dynamic to stay rooted in love and compassion, just like your parents deserve.
Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, it helps to involve a team of professionals—a team like ours at Kingston Residence of Sylvania. Our community is here to give your parents a home where they can celebrate life every day.
Finding a solution doesn’t have to be overwhelming, and our community knows how to help. Contact us today to schedule a tour, and we can work together to create a care plan for your parents!
